Okay, odd topic, I know. I think there is something here worth examining. I went out to a gay dance club with a couple of friends of mine who are gay men. I, hopefully obviously, am not gay, so this was an interesting experience. Here’s my breakdown of the pros and cons:
Pros – 1) Bitch shields are down. Women who go out to gay bars are not expecting to get hit on like they would be expecting it in other places. This is good for us (mostly, see below for more). It leads to the fact that 2) approaching is easier. The rules are just different. Much more so than at other clubs, you can just walk up to a girl and start dancing and she’ll totally roll with out without a word needing to be exchanged. Gay men are generally very friendly and outgoing, and talking to strangers in gay bars is way more expected and free of complication. 3) Buying temperature can be seriously pumped. Women spend all night at gay bars grinding all over men that don’t find them attractive. There is often a lot of touching and sweat being exchanged, and only a few good men who are willing to do something about it. This is implied by the previous sentence but I think it warrants mention on its own; 4) competition is slim. Most of the men at a gay bar are not going after the women, so if you find the right club with a good concentration of women, the odds are in your favor. 5) Being a straight guy at a gay club subcommunicates some confidence and comfortableness with your sexuality. You’re just out to have a good time and you can do that just as easily dancing at a gay bar as going out to any other place.
Cons – 1) Obviously, women can be harder to find. If you go to the wrong gay club at the wrong time, the crowd will be exclusively male, or men and lesbians. Places with dancing on a weekend night are usually a safe bet to find some women, but it’s not a sure thing the way it would be at other bars. 2) Women can assume you’re gay. If you have some style and some moves on the dance floor, which hopefully you do if you’re going to visit a gay bar, it can telegraph the obvious assumption that since you’re there, you must be gay. As mentioned above, this can be good because it keeps bitch shields down, but it can also lead to false IOI’s. Women will get really handsy with a guy they assume is gay, and then you can lose that comfort when you move for any kind of close. Obviously, if you’re talking to a girl, it’s easy to weave things into your conversation that makes your orientation apparent, but when you’re dancing it’s harder to do. 3) Women go to gay bars specifically not to get hit on. You have to be disqualifying to the max sometimes to avoid some instant turn-off when they find out you’re straight. 4) If you’re not comfortable being there, it’s gonna show. These places are very high energy and open and if you’re gonna be a wallflower and avoid contact with others you’re not doing yourself any favors, and you’re not going to get to experience the pros.
I’m sure there are more ways to look at both sides of this, but that’s what I’m thinking after my Friday night out the gay club. I definitely had a good time because I like dancing regardless of where I’m doing it, and I did open some girls with some of the pros and some of the cons definitely in play. One of the guys I went out with is going to be my roommate soon, so I’m sure there will be some more gay bar field reports down the line, and ideally some gay bar LR’s to go with them.
Tags: gay bar
