I think Cyndi Lauper might have been on to something when she said “Girls just want to have fun.” Really, it should just say, “People just want to have fun.” The reason a song about “girls” became a huge hit and you’ll never hear a song titled, “Men just want to have fun,” is quite simply because everyone knows that men just want to have fun. There is no revelation in that statement. It is perfectly acceptable for men in our society to pursue their basest pleasures, to drink, to chase women, to do stupid things just for the adrenaline rush, and that’s just “Boys being boys.” To say that girls just want to have fun is to reveal that they don’t really want to be the proper young ladies that their elders and their social groups and society in general have impressed upon them that they should be. Women are not ultimately so different from men in their internal wiring that they don’t want to pursue those base pleasures just as much as men do. This is a good thing.
I had a day2 last night with a girl I met last Friday night. I haven’t had a legit Day2 date in a really long time. Mostly that’s because I’m still running on my college assumptions about game which generally meant that day2’s weren’t necessary, but that’s a subject for another post. So yesterday I invite this girl over and I’m gonna cook her dinner. She’s a vegetarian, so this makes cooking somewhat more of a challenge. I had to find a recipe for something with tofu. I just got my keys yesterday for a new house that I’m about to move into, so I take her to this empty house with no electricity on yet, we eat dinner outside by the pool and then go for a swim. Even though the food was a moderate disaster, everything is going well.
To back track a little to last Friday, this girl, I’ll call her Tofu, wanted to make out with me at the bar on Friday. I went with the “I don’t make out in bars,” route which clearly had the desired effect. It creates a challenge for her to overcome, while telegraphing that you don’t need to jump at every opportunity you get to make out. If you explain it as a public spectacle problem, then you also telegraph that you’re not the kind of person who is going to hook up with her and want the whole world to know about it.
Back to last night, we’re swimming and we start kissing in the pool, and she says, “I’m sorry I don’t make out in pools.” She didn’t mean it, she was just trying to jab back at me for letting her down in the bar. This is exactly what you want from the “I don’t make out in bars,” scenario. She’s just a little hurt, because she’s not used to guys saying no. Since you’re the guy that did say no, now instead of her, you are the prize to be won, and you are asking her to work for it by meeting you for a day2 in a more private place, which obviously Tofu was okay with. How many girls after just talking for a few minutes would agree to wear a swimsuit and be taken to an empty house alone with a guy they barely know? Well, if you have created that desire to pursue the prize that is you, then most of them. Remember, girls just want to have fun.
Later in the night, we’re out of the pool, we’re fooling around on the carpet inside the house, and she starts with the “I really should be getting back soon,” stuff. Now, we all know this as Last Minute Resistance. Even though girls just want to have fun, they’re told that they shouldn’t. You don’t do certain things on the first date, you don’t do certain things until you’re in a serious relationship, and you don’t do certain things at all. Like I said before, I rarely pursue day2’s. I very much like to find my targets from within my social circle where comfort is already higher and make a one night game of it. So, you can imagine that means I hit a lot of last minute resistance. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard, “I hardly even know you,” or, “I just met you,” or, “Do you even know my name?” (watch out for that one it’s deadly). Ultimately though these attitudes haven’t been a problem for me.
Women enjoy their sexuality just as much as men do. This means it’s just as hard for a woman to walk away from a situation where she’s really turned on as it is for a guy to do the same. They will walk away for one of two reasons. First, she sees long term potential for the relationship and doesn’t want it to be about sex too soon. This is the fatal blunder of day2’s. A day2 becomes a day3 becomes a day4, and before you know it you’ve been a lot of dates with the girl without closing the deal. Your image is obviously too safe, too asexual and comfortable and soft. Develop some aggressiveness in your game and in your attitudes in general and you’ll see the pick ups turn into hook ups a lot more quickly. Most of the time, I don’t want women to want to date me. Occasionally, I meet a woman who is worthy of that consideration, but normally I just want to have fun. I live my life as a sexual being, women pick up on that, and they don’t want to date me either. They assume since I have such a sexual aura about me, I must be good at what I do, and they want to take it for a test drive.
The other reason you might not be closing the deal is that she was never really turned on in the first place. Here’s a test, how many times does a girl say something like, “I really need to go,” before she actually goes? If it’s 1-2, you’re not doing much for her. The only reason she’s saying that is because she has decided already that you’re sexually inept and is ready to run for the door. If this is the case, you might consider finding yourself a good female friend, even one you’re not remotely attracted to, just to get some tips. Give your friend a brutally honest and specific play by play and let them tell you what you’re missing. As a counter-example, Tofu must have said she needed to be leaving at least 6-8 times and those were spread out among long stretches where she forgot that she “needed to be getting back.” And she actually does have a job that gets her up before 5 in the morning so there was no question I would eventually taking her home.
Ultimately, if you can become good at what you do, not just pick-up, but sex and sexuality, everything will improve. If you develop a sexual attitude that girls can pick up on, girls will want more. If you’re a good kisser, girls will want more. If you’re good with your hands, girls will want more. If you’re good at what you do, then you know that all that other stuff that we call Last Minute Resistance is not her, it’s everyone else inside her head telling her what she should and shouldn’t be doing. But if she’s having fun, that “should” doesn’t really matter so much. Remember, girls just want to have fun.
Tags: day2
